Yo-ho-ho. This year's Christmas misfortune award goes to....my Mum!

I woke up today (Christmas day) and found my Mum frantically running round a smoudlering wheelie bin the garden. She had accidentally set fire to a towel and tried to extinguish the flames. She then put the towel in the bin, where it miraculously re-ignited and set the rubbish in the bin on fire. Huge clouds of smoke were billowing out of it as I poured a bucket of water into it.

Merry Xmas!

Last night I achieved the following:

1. Choked whilst snacking on a bowl of Jordan's Crunchy muesli, spraying a mouthful down my shirt and half asphyxiating.
   
2. Let the bath overflow whilst yakking on the phone.

Watch out my misfortune seems to be contagious, just by reading this post you may become infected...

I have had a truly misfortunate on Monday morning. It started on the train on my way to my 09:00 meeting (one might say a bad omen to start with). Whilst doing my French homework on the train, I accidentally brushed my leg with my pen and now have a huge pen mark on my newly acquired trousers (by the way does anyone know the answer to "Qui sont tes acteurs préféres? Lequel joe dans...?"

Anywho, whilst getting on the bus at Victoria this guy accidentally hit me right in my face with his bag whilst I was following him up the stairs (the force was so hard I actually heard my nose click).

Sitting on the bus nursing my newly re-arranged nose I got a call informing that the person I was supposed to meet was sick and that the 09:00 meeting was cancelled (maybe she was infected with my misfortune)...

Anyway, walking down Marylebone High Street with a big smirk on my face, knowing that three things had already gone wrong, so it should be plain sailing from here... two cars collided not ten feet from me... so it's over yet....

Don't let me hold any sharp objects and if anyone knows where I could get a large amount of cotton wool I would appreciate it.

I really hate Xmas - it's always a total nightmare travelling anywhere, and especially since I've never quite mastered the mysterious skill of driving, I'm always resigned to being a victim of Virgin Trains. Well, this year I've doubled the misfortune potential by subjecting myself to the worst companies in the UK: Virgin and EasyCar.

My car hire woes started because I have to come down to from my parents' to London to pick up the car. Even though I'm not driving the car is booked on my credit card and I have to be there in person, so I had to come back early. I bought another train ticket online. Unfortunately (due to major usability issues with theTrainline.com and a distracting queue of people at my desk wanting to know about javascript and Adobe Acrobat), I managed to cock up the booking and booked the ticket going in the wrong direction! Aaaaarrrgh!

My third attempt was successful, but by this time almost all the cheap tickets had gone and I couldn't afford a journey until after 8:30pm, so I won't get into London until after 11pm. Plus it's Virgin Trains, so it'll probably be delayed by another three hours. I have to get up early the next day to go to EasyRentaCar, who have shafted me for hundreds of pounds in hidden charges.... but that story is covered in my news section. Read it now....

Cash haemorraged this festive season:

• Train ticket Manchester-London: £15 (wrong day)
  
• Train ticket London-Manchester: £15 (wrong way)
  
• Train ticket Manchester-London: £15 (earliest one I could afford)
  
• Car hire: £120
  
• Hidden mileage charge: £150 (estimated Stelios fat cat ripoff)
  

Sympathy dontations welcome!

Thought I'd try and look respectable for once this morning by ironing my shirt before going to work. Got as far as the sleeves when the metal bracket on the stand broke and the ironing board collapsed, landing on my foot.

Ironing board's a write-off, foot's getting better, shirt's still wrinkled.

a combined sad story of robberies, break-ins and muggings:

I'll do the recent mugging in a separate story, but ...
before that - I had my bag snatched from the back of my chair at Starbucks (while I was actually talking to a friend - she's never been allowed to live it down...); at that time - I was carrying my passport in my bag (for emergencies - just in case I decided to jet off to Bali for the weekend...) as well as my mobile phone and ALL the credit cards and driving licence; therefore, I entered a vicious circle of not being able to renew any of my cards (nor take any money out of the bank) as, you've guessed it, they kept asking for ID such as passport or driving licence....

a year before that - my flat was broken into (while I was at work) during a cold and wet day - muddy boot-prints everywhere amongst strewn underwear and T-shirts (being compulsively hygienic -- it took me weeks to triple-wash everything !!!); they took the stereo and the video player and frightened Murphy (the cat) into disappearing for over 24 hours... I then decided to change the locks (as obviously, they could've made copies and I was told they often come back to 'finish off'), but then threw away the wrong (new) keys and carried the old keys ... result: came home the next evening only not to be able to enter my own flat !