misfortune strikes

It's not often that I get to write about good fortune, but I might as well go off at a happier tangent and report something positive for a change. I've been on an inadvisable retail therapy binge - life's been so shit lately, the only way a boy could cope was to go shopping.

• I bought a pair of trousers in the Selfridges sale. They were reduced from about £65 to £40. The sales assistant scanned in the wrong barcode and didn't realise, and I got them for £28!!


• I went to buy a new shirt in Fraser's sale - the price tag had fallen off, and the seemingly identical one on the same rail @ £27 turned out to be a different one, according to the sales assistants. It seemed my shirt was actually going to cost £45. I asked them to check, but as they couldn't find the right price tag, they agreed to ring it through at the same price as the other shirt. It set me back a crippling £8.


• In a desperate attempt to cheer myself up, I bought a load of lottery numbers. Three numbers came up and I have won £10. (OK, so the ticket cost me £6, but allow me this deluded moment of happiness please!)

Here endeth the good fortune. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.