Cyclists dismount
Good old Direct Line insurance - they only cover thefts from gardens to a maximum of £500 total. If only I'd known that. So even though three bikes got nicked they'll not pay out any more than that. What's more, I didn't have a receipt for my bike, so it wasn't covered.

I don't have a lot of luck with bikes - they either get nicked or smashed up in road accidents.

Making a tit of myself
Rushed out of a meeting this morning to grab a document, and immediately crashed into a woman, inadvertantly grabbing her left tit. Everyone in the office saw me and laughed heartily.

Am now haunted by the shame of my Benny-Hill-style moment of shame.

Mind the twat
Running to jump on the central line this morning, I slipped on a puddle of water just inside the tube train doors and fell straight on my back, with my head prtotruding from the train in between the doors as they started to close. Just managed to squirm out of the way before early-morning decapitation ruined my day.

Stigmata II

Actually after my whingeing about my sanitary stigmata, I managed to inflict similar injuries on Nina when was decorating the house for our Star Wars party. Whilst hanging a TIE fighter and the Death Star from the ceiling, a couple of drawing pins went astray... and joined in an unhappy and painful union with Nina's foot. Ouch.

Later that same day, I had just taken a pizza out of the oven. Knowing that Matthew was on a tidying-up frenzy, I though I'd better not leave the baking tray out as he would be sure to try and tidy it up and burn himself. So I carefully hid it out of sight to let it cool for a few minutes. Unfortunately, Matthew spotted it straight away and grabbed it to wash it up.... and fell down screaming in a smouldering cloud of burning flesh and verbal obscenity. Well, I did try...

Oops, sorry guys.

Bye-bye bikes
Woke up this morning to find that all our bikes got nicked last night from the back garden. Must have been a professional job with a van 'cos they were all locked and were taken over the fence.

So another bike bites the dust. I don't have much luck with bikes - they either get nicked or smashed up by stupid drivers.